Show Me the Cohesion: good effort doesn't bring pieces together at Oscars

The night began showy enough.

Count ‘em, FIVE former supporting actresses: the lovely Tilda Swinton, Eva Marie Saint, Goldie Hawn, Angelica Huston, and Whoopi Goldberg, each introduced one of the 2008 nominees after stepping onto the gorgeous stage.

Even the first winner oozed pure Hollywood darling. Penelope Cruz, achingly charming, gave a lovely speech that started cute, “Has anyone ever fainted up here? I might be the first,” included a nod to writers of strong female roles, and ended with an acknowledgment of the unifying power of the Oscars and a message of love and hope in Spanish.

A smart use of host Hugh Jackman’s showman skills charmed throughout and former winners added some oomph by presenting each of the four major individual awards the rest of the evening—truly the most worthwhile change to the show’s organization.

In the second half hour, the grins were still stretched from ear to ear, and as Steve Martin and Tina Fey took the stage to present Best Original Screenplay the deep sweet breaths of relief that were being held, exhaled. The Academy is on top of it! They picked people that can entertain! The winner — the beautiful Dustin Lance Black (give him some screentime!) for Milk delivered a sincere, emotional, and politically relevant acceptance that included a promise of equal rights. Moving, significant, and appropriate, it started a series of similar calls throughout the evening and the characteristically unprincipled film industry appeared, for much the better, as if it had a new conscience and authenticity.

But as the marathon of all awards show moved into the second hour, it began to trudge. All the energy and entertainment that held hopeful attention in the opening ‘best picture’ song-and-dance medley promised more than what would actually be delivered in the rest of last night’s eighty-first annual Academy Awards.

Oh, there were some fun moments, like Jennifer Aniston’s appearance (why, despite her beauty and fame, does she always look like she doesn’t belong among A-listers?) that had us chanting “show Brad, show Brad….” and Jack Black is sure to kill even if no one knows why they’re laughing. But the fun moments did not cut out the painful ones, such as Hugh and Beyonce’s tribute to musicals that despite Beyonce’s incredible talent as commander of attention in any crowd, felt like an overwhelming and overworked collision of showtunes and starpower.

Most of the rest of the night stretched long and hard for maximum entertainment value but fell short of being as enchanting as the setting, the highlights being the 100,000 Swarovski crystal curtain, and an elaborate backdrop for the art direction awards. Queen Latifah sang an acceptable “I’ll Be Seeing You” for a strangely detached “In Memoriam.” More love for Paul Newman please!

Even as the night ended with a gorgeous and eloquent Kate Winslet, an awkward but charismatic Sean Penn, and the adorableness of the entire Slumdog story, it almost wasn’t worth the long wait.

A huge round of applause to Penn, Lance, and Josh Brolin who connected the Oscars with a substantive call for equal rights, but its surprising that politics would upstage such an eager and ardent effort of glittery Hollywood performance.